W4M on a P4P Course

“Do you pay 4 play much?” Britney and another youngish female were waiting with Jeremy at the clubhouse. He teed off on the first: his shot ran plumb-line straight but not exceedingly long.

“Some do.” The PUA player gripped his driver handle as he would a baseball bat. Even with two-fingers short of a double handful, his remaining digits were still awkwardly tangled. “Others simply brandish these metal sticks like weapons.” The pickup artist’s swing was a case-in-point as the worm-burner had no loft but plenty of inertia but he really wasn’t there to play at only golf. “W4m (worms for mayhem) had best beware.” The severed blades of grass flew up higher than the ball had, as it blistered a ditch though the foliage.

“I’m sure you’re toying to disarm,” Britney cooed and briefly hugged his arm, “before you pulverize us with your superior gamesmanship.”

The w4m player watched the other female lawyer from the firm send her shot also with surveyor-transit precision: her ball came up just shy of Jonathon’s. This woman’s athletic musculature was similar to a female tennis pro’s build. Her shoulders had well-toned meat and she could doubtlessly out-drive the soda-straw thin Jeremy—but she didn’t choose to.

‘Is this sport a game of skill or eighteen-frames of sucking-up?’ the pua player wondered. It could be named gulp instead of golf. P4p is a much more fun sport.

W4M Woman for Me

Starting last, Britney cast a coy look back at the pickup artist before drilling a similar w4m lawnmower to the player’s but ending slightly short of his.

The pickup artist couldn’t resist a toothy smile. I’m impressed she is truly a w4m. It took real talent to make him look better in the pastime where he had no latent skill and no desire to improve on his natural disability either.

“Golf seems to be a unique pass-time.” The pickup master made the casual observation. On the fifth fairway, the pua and Jeremy spoke as they strolled to where their respective w4m balls had inadvertently ended up laying close. “Do you know of another sport where the lowest score wins?”

Get Pickup Artist Tips for Free

“Uh,” the lawyer feigned having difficulty selecting which w4m club to use next, as he searched his brain for an intelligent sounding answer to such an inane question. He glanced over at Britney for a clue but she simply smiled at him. “Perhaps a pitcher’s duel in baseball is similar in that the lesser amount of thrown balls in a game equates to the better performance like w4m.” Jeremy chipped a high loft with an 8-iron and his ball dropped onto the green. He was now laying two on a par three hole.

“That’s not quite accurate.” The pickup artist selected the same club and he addressed his ball. “Only three throws per inning that each resulted in a fly-ball out would be a no-hitter on only 27 pitches.”

The pua swung hard but severely topped his target. Instead of progressing up the fairway, the dimpled ball absorbed a squashing impact between the foot of the club and the ground. It returned the inertia by hopping back towards the tee-box and landing five paces further away from the pin. The player accepted the result without commenting on it and prepared for his next stroke from the new location.

“Whereas, striking out every batter would take a minimum of nine pitches per inning for a match tally of eighty-one but this performance would be lauded as superior—,” the p4p master’s next clumsy swing managed to sail the ball to the fringe of the targeted green, “—or at least on par.”

“I see your point.” Jeremy’s voice was marginally dejected because he didn’t understand the real w4m point though. The senior lawyer had been trying to reduce his play to allow the client to win, or to at least land his ball close enough for conversations but the pickup artist’s erratic shots had so far made that exceedingly difficult. This hole was his first opportunity to chat since commencing the round and the exasperating older man had effectively ruined it with a worthless chitchat.

W4M and Set 4 a Win

“A computer programmer’s task on the other hand, would be akin to golf.” The pua resumed the topic as the two men watched Britney’s fine form. He admired her exquisite performance that contrasted with Jeremy’s. Her every shot had landed near to, but slightly beyond her client’s. Lawyer Britney’s other casual actions had been similarly enthralling. Just now, she was bent at the waist and plucking at a tuft of grass. The p4p pro tore his eyes from the view to continue. “Achieving a working result in the fewest keystrokes makes for code that is smaller, faster and better.”

“As your own program clearly demonstrates.” Jeremy’s mind also formulated an analogy of a legal professional’s optimum performance being winning with the least expended effort but he decided not to risk it. He envisioned a notable flaw in his case: the true measure of quality was in maximizing a suit’s dollar value and all superfluous actions adding extra-billing were the real legal aces.

“Courting is a example of a golf concept in a social setting.” Britney had been listening to the verbal exchange while pretending to carefully evaluate her ball’s positioning. She spoke while preparing for her second stroke on the long par-3 fifth. The back of her short tennis skirt swished over the cleft of her upper thighs as she waggled her club several times. “A man prefers a maximum reward on minimal expenditures: so a female who puts-out on a first date is a hole-in-one.”

From the fairway’s other side where her tee slice had lit, Tamara also landed her second but overshot the pin.

The foursome met on the green to finish the short game. Miraculously, the client’s putt took a meandering line that teetered on the lip and then fluked into the cup. The women each two-putted and Jonathon cashed his par with a nine-footer.

“Three for me!” The male lawyer boasted as he over-dramatized his penciling the scorecard. “You drive for show but putt for the dough!”

“Ditto.” The PUA licked the nib of his pencil and marked a three.

“But you took two swings on the fairway.” Jeremy’s voice held an indignant edge as the programmer had stolen his triumph.

“The first one didn’t advance the ball towards the flag.” The pua master smiled innocently. Will the w4m show some spine and accuse me of cheating? “It traveled backward so it doesn’t count.” Shall I suggest the one negative could be subtracted from the three positives to make a birdie?

Jeremy bit off any retort and they moved on to the sixth. From that link and forward, he gave up his attempts to match his play to the client’s.

W4m for a Treat

“We can take a clubhouse break?” At the ninth tee box, Jeremy had regained his gregarious mood. “I’ll treat for a drink, a snack and a w4m.”